I don’t dare turn over
to the side
where he once slept
and dreamt
of escaping the
responsibility
of me.
Nights are long
and quiet.
My mind silences my body,
my eyes,
when they want to
be weak
and wet my pillow.
I throw away the
pictures,
his letters,
as I laugh
and feel nothing.
Always on the move
But when I get home,
the stillness
unnerving,
smothers
the memories
we created.
“She must be so sad.”
you say, as you
clutch onto your husbands,
thanking God your lives
don’t mirror mine.
But I’ll tell you one thing….
The empty recliner
dinners by myself,
the bare walls where
his pictures once hung.
I’ll take all of it
because when I am alone
there’s no one to call
me ugly.
—
Writer Bio:
Kristina Rivera is a writer based in Chicago , IL. She is a breast cancer survivor that is passionate about professing God’s goodness through suffering and creating safe spaces for women to congregate and share their struggles. Writing helps remind her that although life is hard and unclear, God’s love is never failing and she hopes to encourage and embolden others to believe this as well.
Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on pexels.
Read more work like this when you purchase Issue 2: Beauty in Brokenness of Resolute Magazine.