As a first-generation Latina, the phrase "calladita se ve más bonita" was something I often heard during my childhood. Whether I was expressing a dislike for the food I was served, or sharing a divergent opinion, my familia always said "calladita se ve más bonita."
This phrase is very commonly heard across Latinx households which roughly translates to “staying quiet makes you more beautiful." It is even more commonly told to young Latinas.
I started thinking about this after one of my close Latina friends pondered on this phrase as she thought of her place in the conversation of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, and it got me thinking: what is my place as a Latina in this movement? As Latina women, we are constantly told, whether explicitly or implicitly, to NOT argue, to NOT interfere. To NOT talk back, to NOT voice anything remotely controversial because ¿que ve a decir la gente? What are people going to say?
Our cultura loves to protect our outward image and appearance. Which makes sense given the countless stereotypes of "Mexicans and/or immigrants are stealing our jobs" or "all immigrants are criminals." So, therefore, since la niñeza we're told- never wear your pajamas outside la casa, “siempre hay que andar bien arreglada.” One should always be well dressed, don’t wear ripped jeans or te vas a ver pobre. You'll look poor.
Now I’m only speaking from personal experience and cannot speak for all Latinx households in America as each household is unique and complex. I understand and acknowledge that my experience, growing up in South Central Los Angeles as a daughter to immigrants from Guatemala, is limited and not all-encompassing of all Latinx experience. Now back to the question: What is my place as a Latina in the #BlackLivesMatter movement? I believe and am personally convicted...
This is NOT the time to stay calladita.
This is NOT the time to look bonita.
This is NOT the time to stay quiet or to avoid all conflict at all costs.
This is NOT the time to get concerned with que va a decir la gente.
This is the time para luchar con nuestros hermanos y hermanas, to fight with our brothers and sisters. This is the time to ask questions, to educate ourselves, and to fight for what’s right. To denounce the racism and colorism within our culture. To say to our familias "No se dice 'negrito', no se dice ‘chinito.’"
Hermanas y hermanos, let's stand up for our gente. Let’s not stay calladitos. La lucha es nuestra lucha. The fight is our fight. As Latinx people we always find a way.
““If you’re not given a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” ”
And when we are finally at the table, it's not about fighting those sitting around the table, but about fighting the powers and systems that hold the table. Siempre hay algo que hacer. There's always something we can do.
Sigamos con los ojos hacia Dios y con los brazos cruzados con los que lloran. Let’s walk with our eyes toward God and with our arms crossed with all who hurt.
Photo by Jumana Dakkar.